Trot on
Running. You either do or you don’t.
The gym. Most people have tried and now don’t, but you’ll break again after Christmas.
Why, in all gyms, without exception, is the music relentless techno techno techno? I know it takes a certain breed to be gym bunny/muscle moron, but why should the rest of us have to endure such an evil workout for the ears when we’re already punishing other parts?
There are two ways to deal with this – bring your ipod or plug into the TV channels (yes, I know you simply can’t miss Richard and Judy and that to put it on at home would risk the ridicule of your flatmates/significant other/cat. Don’t worry, know one else in the gym cares, and they’re probably thinking how sweaty you look).
Although i’m not one to miss a book club moment, it’s the ipod for me, but it gets in the way, all those headphone wires. Why can’t we have an indie gym?
‘But you can’t run to guitar music’ I hear you cry…Ha! yes, you can, and you’ll damn well get out and pound the streets until you agree with me.
You have to choose wisely, admittedly, but if you get it on the money then you too can enter a race with excitement. Time to lose the fear of the crowd (they may shout “keep going, you can do it”, but really they’re thinking “wouldn’t do that if I were you, not with that body” – it’s puppy fat you judgemental bastards).
But where to start? Well, this one’s for everyone no matter how fast or slow you want to go. Step up Mr P. Doherty and pals the Little ‘Ans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLkTCkwpgY8
Of all the people eh – if nothing else motivates you to keep going, just think, you could follow his example instead
But what if you want to up the pace, get those legs pumping. Techno techno techno? Don’t you dare! Instead, may I introduce a rather odd looking quartet and one of their more popular tunes. Queens of the Stone Age:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lliA2Av8dd8
Enough aggression to bring out the intensity of a lung-burster, and a Dave Grohl-inspired beat to drive you to the finishing line. Too heavy? Then try Sunderland’s finest (Mr Keane excepted), the Futureheads. Hugely under-rated pop talent, but with this gem on repeat you can finally make that pesky Duracell Bunny eat your dust. Take that you smug furry freak.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PYgCN2kIsg
But there is one very surprising song that stopped me collapsing at about the 5k mark on Sunday as i tore round Hyde Park (BUPA people, where oh where was the water at this stage? The Serpantine was mocking me ‘you want me but you can’t have me…’). Oh Kate Nash, you came good once again. One of the treats of Leicester Summer Sundae, I also saw Ms Nash in Surrey – a great birthday pressie from workmates but the crowd, they just didn’t appreciate you. But I do, and it was as if you were my personal saviour, whispering ignore the pain, keep going…thank you Nash, and yes, you can eat all the lemons you like
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orACIBjHuI4
Recommended for
Brendan – I can imagine you ranting in the gym at yet another techno tune, or a bad book choice by R & J. Try this instead!
Kris – You’ve had it too good for too long – a 5 minute walk to work since you were 18. You have a lot of catching up to do boy!
Claire – In case you come out of running retirement
Steer clear
Loren – I can’t see you being motivated by anything other than Republica, and anyway can’t have you running faster than me.
